If the intent of your message is worth sending, getting it right is a matter of execution. Crafting the right message, in the right way, at the right time, to the right person isn’t a skill you gain through experience. Common experience embeds mostly selfish, impulsive communication patterns that run on autopilot. Skillful messaging is acquired through constant practice, frequent mistakes, self-awareness, and self-discipline.
Craft your messages, after clarifying your intent, to help people understand the situation or help people understand you. Help people see the objective and the factual. Help people consider a perspective or opinion. Help people understand something personal or emotional.
Avoid messages intended to provoke or make people feel guilt, especially in common small phrases. It doesn’t matter if you’re right. It doesn’t matter if you feel justified. Sarcasm sometimes works for comedians, but never for relationships.
Think about why we even communicate at all. Isn’t it to reveal something, either about our world or ourselves? The right message, in the right way, at the right time, to the right person can cause them to see something they’ve never seen, understand something they’ve understood, and do something they’ve never done.
Do the work.