The Focus 3 Blog

How To Refrain Your Complain

Have you ever listened to someone complain and thought to yourself, “That was fun. I hope I get to hear them complain more.”?

Nope. You probably (1) got annoyed or (2) complained right along with them.


I’m keeping the message simple and direct today: three reasons why complaining doesn’t work and three ways to stop complaining.

Three reasons why complaining doesn’t work:

  1. It’s a zero ROI activity. There is no return on complaining. The more you complain, the less you solve. The less you complain, the more opportunity you have to figure things out, whether it’s to get better or get through it.
  2. Your life and the life of everyone around you improves the moment you stop complaining. Complaining doesn’t solve problems, achieve goals, and improve relationships. It prevents those things.
  3. The best version of you is not a complainer. Whatever the best version of you looks like, that person doesn’t complain. If you’re still complaining, you’re not the best version of yourself.

Here’s a free fourth reason complaining doesn’t work: No one cares. People care about their problems, not your complaining. No one waits at work or home hoping to hear more complaining from you. The people who love you will listen to you complain because they care about you, not because they want to. Your co-workers, your friends, and your loved ones want you to be happy and successful, not to listen to you complain.

Three ways to stop complaining:

  1. Decide and commit. Eliminate it from your life immediately, completely, and forever. Don’t go halfway. Go all-in.
  2. Do anything rather than complain. Literally anything. Do nothing, be silent, address the problem with the person, do pushups, listen to music, take a walk, take a nap, listen to Justin Bieber. Just don’t complain. There are thousands of things you can do besides complain, do any of them.
  3. Focus on resolution or resilience. Rather than complain, put your mind and your action down the path towards resolution or towards resilience. Some problems can be solved and others can’t. Get busy fixing it or get busy being tough enough to endure something you can’t fix.

What is your creative and productive alternative to complaining? Comment below.

Previous Post

E+R=O: Why Your Response is Deeply Personal and Never Private.

Next Post

Why remain average when you can be elite?


Signup Today!

Subscribe to
The Focus 3 Blog

When you subscribe to the Focus 3 Blog, you get the latest word in Leadership, Culture, and Behavior straight to your inbox!

Subscribe to Email Updates

100% Privacy. No Spam.

Recent Posts

A Call To Excellence From TK

The purpose of A Call to Excellence is to provide biblical, practical insight for responding to God’s call on your life. Our theme is best communicated in Ephesians 4.1: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” My goal is to equip, encourage, and challenge you with biblical truth.